This will be the last post this summer about Youthfront Camp South. If you’re tired of hearing about camp, I apologize. If you’re tired of hearing about my life outside of camp, you’ll just have to wait until next summer ;-)

Tomorrow we share our last day together. Cabin leaders finished up on July 30th and we have had the last week and a half with our eastern orthodox friends renting the place, and now a free youth worker retreat where full-time youth workers and their families are welcomed here to enjoy all aspects of camp and get to hang out for a few days. It’s been a blast.

Last week while conducting an exit interview with one of our staff we began to talk about what is special or different about Youthfront. One of the things he mentioned about summer staff was that it really felt like Youthfront was not a place that tried to force anything on kids or create an unhealthy environment, but rather, one of openness and willingness to engage with kids in whatever place they come here in.

I said “yeah…that’s right”

Of course there is a tension there. We want kids, in some cases, to be confronted by a loving God who sent Jesus to be in relationship with us and be the perfect sacrifice on the cross, bearing the sins of the entire world on his shoulders. This message, does not always come when kids find it most convenient or when they are ready to stop texting or talking with friends and finally listen. Sometimes it breaks in. We want to be receptive to the Holy Spirit and its ability to move above, around, behind, or beside us as we share life with kids here.

But the environment we work to cultivate is super important. 

And we don’t always see results.

But even that is important, because results are what we as adults are looking for. It’s not what kids are searching for. It’s not the kind of work Christ is inviting us into either. But results are tangible, shareable, sellable…

It’s hard to fully describe to anyone what we try to do here. What happens here also takes time to grow in a person before it can even be put to words.

Here’s what we don’t try to do (anymore): 

Create a busy place that has the most energetic and funny speaker, the loudest and craziest worship band, the newest and best attractions, or the ability to set kids on fire to go back to wherever they came from and really do it this time.

Instead, we try to s l o w  k i d s  d o w n .

We’re lucky enough if they can spend a week here in the summer, and if they do make it here amidst all the work responsibilities, family trips, sports conditioning, etc. etc., it’s time for a break. It’s time to slow down and listen. It’s time to be in a place where God is present in a multitude of ways. It’s time to be in a place that doesn’t expect you to look or feel or act a certain way, or give a certain answer, or be able to explain, in 30 seconds, exactly what happened to you while you were here and how you will be different leaving here. 

It’s time to awaken, to what God may actually be inviting each of us into, before we go out and simply serve or do something. 

So we participate in fixed hour prayer, experiential learning, 600 acres of trails and sacred space, stations of the cross, group conversation, worship through music, drawing, collage making, question-asking, and prayer. We hear from a storyteller who helps us to see and interact with God’s story in ways that perhaps we have not understood before. Then kids share with each other what they’re thinking, feeling learning, and the ways that God is speaking to them during these times.

And so no, it’s not a mission trip, though we try to think about our world and how we can participate in the work of restoration, it’s not a camp high, though if kids leave here with a renewed or new passion and zeal we’re glad, and it’s not a place where we have set the dials so kids will have to fit into a narrow window of what it means to be a Christian.

It’s retreat, listening, opening, and asking. It’s finding God where God may be found and listening for the voice of the Holy Spirit. It’s a place in kid’s lives where they are enlivened and enriched, sometimes transformed, but always formed.

And here’s what I mean, really, when it comes to real kids.

1) I’m having a Facebook conversation as I type this with a camper who was here two weeks ago. I followed his cabin as they participated in an experiential approach to the stations of the cross together. This young man did not engage at all. While his whole cabin stood around each station and read together, prayed together, and engaged in a hands-on experience, this fellow just sat on a rock and stared at the ground. Other kids started to notice asking…”why isn’t [so-and-so] participating?” to which his cabin leader gracefully replied discreetly “it’s alright…you don’t need to worry about him…” I’m not sure if this kid did anything that appeared to be meaningful while he was here. But I found him towards the end of the week hanging out in the Snack Shack with his cabin leaders and a few other guys, and I just said hi. A few days later he requested to be my friend, and now we chat whenever he’s on Facebook, and he’s asking me about all of the worship songs we sang, and where to find them online. He’s telling me about his passion for art, and has shared one of his sketches with me. I would not be surprised at all if he joins teen staff while in high school, and summer staff in college. I wouldn’t be surprised if he directs this place one day.

2) A couple years ago a girl shared during a response gathering here that she had come to camp a couple years prior and had really been considering suicide that summer. She was in a very dark place, and had made up her mind that the next time her parents were not home she would go through with it. She continued to share that during that summer at least one of her parents was coincidentally home with her each day until she left for camp. During one of the worship times, a line from a song awakened her: “You’ve called me out of death, you’ve called me into life…” She changed her mind. God found her here, and she stood to testify two years later to the riches of God’s grace and restoration. I guarantee you I did not pick that song with her in mind, and I did not notice this transformation take place that night. I only heard about that initial spark years later.

3) This summer, in the midst of sharing a really traumatic life experience with some close friends, I was walking up to the chapel for morning prayer when I noticed a teen staff girl weeping loudly. I stopped for a moment to ask if she was okay, and she told me that a friend of hers had just been admitted to the hospital after attempting suicide and that she was having a hard time believing in a God who could let that sort of thing happen. I shared with her that my friends were going through a really hard time too and that I was having the same difficulty believing. We prayed together for her friend, and talked a little bit more before I left and completely lost it. I remember walking aimlessly, not sure what to do or where to go, weeping, and asking God…”why?” This girl returned a few weeks later to teen staff and thanked me for the time and told me how important it was for her to be able to share from the real place that she was in and not have someone try to fix her or be concerned that she was doubting. Her church environment, unfortunately, did not allow her that kind of space or ability to express herself.

There’s more. And there’s more than just me. Each day cabin leaders are engaging with kids and hearing their stories. Each day our teen staff supervisors are sharing life with teen staff and helping awaken them to the reality of God’s kingdom on earth. Each day we’re sharing meals together, reading scripture, discussing, and praying. There is something very special and unique that happens here, and it has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with a community of people that opens itself to be honest and passionate about a relationship with a God who is honest and passionate about us.

Today is July 5, 2011.

It’s nearly impossible to believe that the first six weeks of my second summer directing at Youthfront Camp South are over. The staff here are wonderful people. We found ourselves feeling like we had known each other for years after a few short days together. After two weeks of orientation, we welcomed nearly 700 young people into this environment. I often tell people that the most rewarding part of my job is to know that somehow the work I do gets transformed and translated into something spiritually significant for those people. Somehow, kids come here and are awakened, renewed, and welcomed into a meaningful relationship with God because of the life and work of Jesus. Somehow I get to be a part of it. 

We are now on hiatus. While we try hard to practice sustainable working rhythms here at camp, the work we do is exhausting. It’s an incredible gift to have some down time in the middle of the summer. About 7 of the staff have chosen to hang back here at camp and join in some practices together. Over the next few days, we’ll be praying together regularly (morning, midday, evening), preparing meals, working on some stone masonry and a few small projects, and reading and discussing a book. Our rhythm is simple:

• Wake Up
• Pray
• Eat
• Work
• Pray
• Eat
• Read / Rest
• Eat
• Discuss
• Pray
• Sleep

Following this week we will welcome the Hispanic youth of Kansas City for our Hispanic week, and then some true youngsters (3-5 graders). Then we have two high school weeks and our cabin leaders head home. We have yet another week after that where a group of Eastern Orthodox churches rent our space and have camp here, and then we host any and all full-time youth workers to come and enjoy camp with their families. Following that my church (Jacob’s Well) comes for our annual Pilgrimage and then I’m home free. 

This summer has been different than last. I have been much more tired. Worn down. I don’t think it’s because I’m a year older and thus a year more fatigued. There are simply new challenges, new burdens to bear, new situations to navigate, both in, and outside of camp, that leave me feeling very exhausted. I thank God for this week of rest in community, and I cling to the words of Jesus in Matthew 11:

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Jessica is working hard too—every Saturday and Sunday night—so that we can be together at camp each week. Last night was our 4 year dating anniversary. It’s funny, because we both realize that married people do not really celebrate their dating anniversaries, but we like to remember, nonetheless. It’s hard enough to believe it will be two years in November, yet hard to believe it’s only been 4 that we’ve been together. She is the love of my life and it feels like—as my mom pointed out on facebook—that we have always been together. Touche mum!

Well this will be a mixed bag for sure.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to help lead a retreat for a handful of youth workers at Youthfront Camp South. This came at the end of a busy and exhausting week, and even though I was facilitating the worship times including a lectio divina and an awareness practice, it was as much a time for me to retreat as it was for those attending. Saturday was beautiful and sunny with a gentle breeze, and it was about 73 degrees outside. I led an aural awareness. This is essentially a chance to be still and listen to what is happening around you. It is a way to become aware of something you may not normally perceive. I first experienced this kind of thing with my friend Ron Martoia who is brilliant at leading and facilitating this and many other awareness practices.

After trying to be intentional about our breathing, posture, muscles, and releasing tension, we laid still for 25 minutes. I framed the time around some wisdom from Thomas Merton:

“My life is a listening. His is a speaking. My salvation is to hear and respond.”

The responses following were amazing to hear. First we focused simply on what people were literally hearing during the time, then moved to thoughts and observations about how the experience might connect with their lives. Finally we talked about possible invitations or promptings from the Holy Spirit as a result of the experience. Another way to ask this question is how might we wake up to the kingdom realities that surround us but may not be perceived? This is tied to one of the first messages Jesus preached: Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near. Repent literally translated here is metanoia: to change one’s mind or to embrace thoughts beyond the present limitations. Awareness practices are a doorway to this kind of transformation.

Following the experience I engaged the group in some discussion about what we try to do at South in terms of the environment we try to create. One particular question was very interesting to me. I’ve heard it in different forms before, but a youth worker asked: besides meal packaging at camp, what do you do here that is outward-focused?

I told this person that I have thought quite a bit about what we can or should engage in at South that is missional or outward. There certainly seems to be a growing desire from youth and their leaders to do something. My response was first that the physical location of South creates some limitations to what we are able to do locally, but I do not view this as a bad thing. I went on to describe, as we had experienced in our aural awareness, that it is important to have time and space in our lives to simply sit still. Without an awareness of the Spirit’s movement and God’s in-breaking kingdom, what do we think it is we are supposed to do?  I do not think of camp as an end all-be all experience. It is a point in a young person’s journey. We are not operating under any illusions that we’re trying to create a new kind of society at camp. The point of camp is to leave camp and engage the world wherever people find themselves. We certainly try and hone in on this throughout a camper’s experience with us. While many people talk about summer camps as a perfect little ‘bubble’ where everything is right with the world, we work hard to burst the bubble and engage all areas of life in an honest way. In fact, contrary to many philosophies of high-energy-hype and a thrilling camp high, we work hard to slow people down and create an environment where they might experience the presence of God in a deep way—like in an awareness practice. I was a little surprised and certifiably delighted that the youth worker understood and appreciated the perspective.

As I continue to reflect on the conversation, two key things come to mind:

1) As people, especially Christians steeped in western society, we always gravitate towards serving or doing, often before we pause to reflect or discern what it is we should do. Additionally, we usually employ service to others as our ticket to having done what Christ calls us to, or what we think God wants from us—to serve others. Hear me: I think it is good to serve others, but let’s take a moment to look at an encounter Jesus had with the disciples in John 13:5-17. Jesus washes the disciples’ feet. He comes to Peter and Peter refuses. “You shall never wash my feet”, he says. To which Jesus responds, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” Why was Jesus so insistent? What is going on here? I don’t know. But I have a couple ideas.

1. Serving is harder and more complex than we make it out to be.
2. We must be served before we can serve.

2) Like Jesus, we need time to be alone. He modeled this well, and we pretty much opt out in our lives, or at best make this an optional add-on to our Christian living. And often, we do it in the name of service instead. Why go on retreat when you can go on a mission trip and accomplish something? This kind of ministry is dangerous. Before too long, service becomes more about the people serving than the people being served. This becomes like building a skyscraper without blueprints. And where are the blueprints? Get away, get alone, wake up to the kingdom reality that you simply cannot perceive or embrace when you are constantly active. Retreat is absolutely and permanently essential in preceding action.

Whew.

And finally, if you are a studious reader of this blog, you’ll recall that on February 5th 2011 I began a massive kitchen remodeling project with the help and expertise of my dad. This is the main reason I haven’t updated since then. My originally stated goal was to be finished by the end of March. Well, I’ve never done a major house project like this before, but I guess I should have known better. It is coming along nicely though! You can see some pictures below. Right now, I have finished a lot of what I hoped to do myself, and I’m waiting to hear back from a couple of cabinet companies that I’ve been talking with. Once we have new cabinets and countertops, I’ll drywall everything, redo the floor and voila!…(I wish it was that easy). But it has been super fun, and I’m really grateful to have a dad who is willing and able to help me learn how to do all this stuff. What a gift. I guess, I’m also really grateful to have a wife who patiently watches me fumble through it and hasn’t melted down yet.

There it is! Thanks for reading.

The latest look at our kitchen.

Wow, it’s been too long since I updated. A full-length one is coming soon. But, below there’s a link to an article I wrote for Immerse Online. Immerse is a youth ministry journal that several friends are contributing to and collaborating on. It’s really good stuff! I, however, do not consider myself a writer by any stretch of the imagination, so when I say it’s good stuff, I humbly exclude myself. But take a look if you get a chance! I’d love some feedback.

Also, it’s Jessica’s 25th birthday on Thursday! I’m coming up some fun stuff for her. Yeeeeeehawwwwwww!

Today was a very full day. I took the day off from Youthfront and my dad came over to help me begin a huge house project. In short, Jessica and I have decided to remove the wall between our kitchen and dining room. This will create more counter space, and open our place up a bit. It’s super exciting and super time consuming! In the end, we hope to have a few new cabinets and countertops, a new stove, a new microwave that hangs above the stove, new sink, new light fixtures, and a tile floor instead of wood.

Whew, so pretty much new everything I guess. For the most part, my dad and I will do the work together, but we will also hire out some help for the countertops, cabinets, and probably get some friend help for the floor.

Oh, and we’re moving a doorway, updating electrical work, rerouting a heat/AC duct, cutting off a plumbing vent (to use a vent-less cap instead) and changing the location of a few switches.

We accomplished a ton today in tearing things down including the cabinets, wall from both sides, trim, and electrical. We’ve got a good sense of what needs to happen now, and are ready to move forward accordingly.

Not to mention, Jess and I are leaving soon for an exotic vacation to an undisclosed location for an indeterminate amount of time!

Annnnnnnd as if that were not enough, everything at Youthfront is clipping along at light speed as we interview new applicants for summer staff and begin to connect with alumni applicants. We’re hoping to have the hiring process finished up by the end of this month. And I’m hoping to have that kitchen project finished up by April…we shall see.

Below you’ll see a few pics of what we were able to accomplish. A few hours into it this morning I remembered and said to my dad “we forgot to take before pictures!” so what you’ll see is with the cabinet already off the wall and then no wall at all!

I’m really blessed to have a dad that wants to spend the time and energy to do hard work with me and do it the right way. I’m blessed to be married to Jessica who is also a super diligent worker and has just finished a makeover to our upstairs bathroom.

We love our place and getting to make it our own little by little. We love having people over here and love that we get to share it together. Everything just feels right today.

Things I have done tonight:

1) Watched Winnebago Man, a documentary about Jack Rebney. If you are not offended by swearing, I’d highly recommend it. I found this movie to be really touching. I cried (which is not unusual as far as films go). In short, a man comes to wrestle with a phenomenon that is entirely foreign to him and somehow both embraces and rejects said phenomenon but remains very endearing to those who love and appreciate the person he himself did not know existed. It’s also hilarious.

2) I searched around for facts on Rebney and also the soundtrack to the film. I downloaded Mike Crawford’s recording of “It Won’t Be Too Long Now” by Isaac Anderson, listened to a few other bands, and eventually found my way to myspace and the old Farewell to Ashlyn page as well as myspace.com/micahthomas.

3) I went up to the attic where all my music stuff is, visited with our bunny Brooklyn, and cleaned his cage.

4) Grabbed a Boulevard Wheat and hit the hot tub. It began to snow. Realized somewhere while sitting there that I love music and I am afraid to enter into the creative process again. I want to write, play, record, sing, and enjoy music. I want to be more creative with how I lead worship and interact with the band at Jacob’s Well. I want to continue to compose string arrangements. I want to write minimalistic songs with electronic elements. I want to play in a band. I want to learn to play the drums. I want to learn how to play electric guitar better. I want to buy and play a real piano. I almost landed the piano currently in the JW sanctuary, but Mike Crawford became enlightened that ours was quite suitable and ultimately decided that the one he was considering purchasing for the sanctuary was not too much of an upgrade. Bummer.

5) Showered, shaved, talked to Jessica on the phone, and called Alan Keller. Alan didn’t answer but I left a message asking if he wanted to play music with me again. I said something about not getting any younger, and my desire to pick an afternoon or evening to start playing again. I hope he says yes. We used to be called Hear Here and played with Joanna Perry.

6) Headed back up to the attic. Going to arrange a few things and make some music.

This fall has been far busier than I anticipated. At Youthfront, we have tried to focus our recruiting efforts primarily in the fall so that winter and spring can be dedicated to interviewing and hiring summer staff, and preparing for camp. That means I’ve been on the road quite a bit. Here’s my travel log since the first week in November:

November 2 - Bethel University, Minneapolis MN
November 4 - Olivet Nazarene University, Bourbonais IL
November 5 - Hope College, Holland MI
November 6 - Youthfront Feed The Hunger event in Holland MI
November 11 - Missouri State University, Springfield MO
November 12 - Southwest Baptist University, Bolivar MO
November 15-18 - Jess & my one year anniversary trip! Eureka Springs, AR
November 19-22 - National Youth Workers Convention, Nashville, TN
December 2 - Northwest Missouri State, Maryville MO
December 7 - Kansas State University, Manhattan KS

And I’m almost done! The last few schools we will visit are just day trips, and it’s great to finally be anchored back here in KC again. One of the most enjoyable recruiting events actually happened a couple days ago just down the street from me at McCoy’s in Westport where we had an open house for Kansas City area summer staff and people interested in applying. You’ll see the picture below where a bunch of our friends are gathered around a table talking about life, camp, school, experiences, and dreams. The two hour block flew by, and it was great to meet some new people who are applying or have already applied to work at camp this summer. I always love talking about our philosophy of ministry at Youthfront with people and dreaming about the ways that I can help be a part of the work God is doing at Youthfront Camp South.

I also attended the National Youth Workers Convention for the first time where 3,500 youth workers from around the country came together to learn and network in Nashville. It was fun to do this with Mike King and Erik Leafblad and see how well respected and connected Mike is in the youth ministry world. I also met a lot of new people and had countless conversations about camp and Youthfront with people who are interested in learning about how we participate in youth ministry.

And now finally, Jessica and I are together at home and turning our attention towards Advent and remembering, retelling, and reliving the story of Jesus’ coming into the world. We’ve been burning wood fires in our fireplace here and spending lots of good time just resting at home. We’ll be around KC for Christmas and then probably head out to our family’s cabin in Colorado between Christmas and the new year.

We’re also taking some intentional time at Youthfront to focus on personal support raising. This is something that I have always kept last on my to-do list and therefore never really get to a place where I am spending focused time on it. Thankfully Youthfront recognizes our need as supported staff to have time set aside for this and so I will spend some time between now and Christmas talking with close friends and family about the possibility of supporting us regularly. If you might be interested, I’d love to chat with you. We’ve been blessed greatly with Jessica’s career as a nurse and my work at Youthfront and Jacob’s Well and we are also recognizing the need to plan for our future and continue the work of raising support in order to keep on living and working the way we currently are.

Thanks for reading! We hope you are doing well and feeling blessed this Advent. Drop us a line and let us know what’s happening in your world!

Camp People

After doing all of the pressing yard projects, cleaning up rooms, getting up to speed on emails, bank accounts, little work projects, making pies, etc. etc. I finally forced myself to go upstairs and play music. I spent about an hour and a half last night working on what I claim to enjoy most. It’s really true though. I’m sure there’s things in your life like this. You’ll do anything else before it, but once you actually sit down and apply yourself you can hardly stop. I feel that way about music. It’s as if it possesses so much power and beauty I feel like I can’t wield it, but when I exhaust myself of excuses and open myself to the possibilities it completely envelops me.

I began composing last night. I also cranked out another little loop just for fun. This time on piano. You’ll see the loop below. The composition? Someday I hope.

Making music again…or at least getting my feet wet.

Had you asked me if being married to a nurse meant that I saw her in the trenches helping people 7 months ago, I would have said “no.” Now I would say “yes.” Jessica and I were on our way home from an Easter celebration last spring when we witnessed a horrible motorcycle accident. She was among the first on the scene to try and help the person. It’s tough to remember how things actually happened, but it is as if she leaped out of the car while I was still driving to go and help.

Almost two weeks ago, a FBI chase ended with a crash just a few houses down from our front door. Jessica was home that morning, ran out of the house, borrowed paper towels from a neighbor, and began providing care to a pregnant woman who was in the car being chased. Apparently the man driving the car was wanted for questioning surrounding a homicide and the woman and her 6 year old child were also in the car. After helping the woman with her injuries, Jess sat with the young boy for awhile until ambulances arrived and took them away to be treated.

Then just a week ago we were celebrating my sister’s birthday with her at Oklahoma Joe’s (no doubt the best barbecue in the world) when an elderly man appeared to be struggling. Well before ambulances arrived, Jessica was talking with the man, taking his pulse, asking critical questions and assessing him—still in her scrubs from work that day.

These are just a few instances I have been able to witness or have heard about outside the walls of the hospital recently. Add to those stories the countless times she’s been involved in lifesaving efforts at Research Medical Center and taking care of patients who appreciate her so much they send cards and flowers after they leave. She’s amazing. When I’m old and wrinkly, unable to care for myself, and borderline insane, I’m comforted by the thought that she’ll take great care of me. And when I am experiencing any of those aforementioned symptoms between now and then I have the same assurance. She’s wonderful. If only more people in the world could be taken care of by a nurse like Jessica.

Switching subjects, I miss making music. I need it in my life. I have a pretty big idea that was planted last summer during our trip to Europe and I plan to begin composing some music for this adventure. I’ll tell you about it sometime if you want to know. Below is just a brief little sample I created on my acoustic guitar at Youthfront Camp West last weekend when I was leading worship for Youthfront’s Go Retreat. That was a refreshing experience. You’ll either have to crane your head sideways or neglect watching and just listen to the video as I seem to have uploaded it incorrectly. Enjoy!